The last blog was about belonging and the incredible bonding-returns of having family meetings.
I’m writing three posts about belonging. Just as quick reminder – a key post from the last blog was that belonging and feeling that you belong are two very different things. – worth a review.
Creating belonging at home doesn’t just give our children comfort and security. Psychologists list 'Belonging' as one of our top psychological needs for mental well-being*. It impacts our motivation, health and happiness.
So this second post is about another way to create a strong sense of belonging in families. This one is
If you bring to mind any organization or group that has a strong identity, it will have traditions: Browinies, cubs, Countries, rugby teams (the list goes on), all have their own rituals. Most families have traditions around birthdays or Christmas, but bringing intentional additions will add the ‘us’ that you are. The things they’ll look back on and say
My mum always..
My dad always…
We used to….
Here are a few traditions have been written back to me after talks that I’ve given on identity and belonging.: I think they’re inspirational and all have the quality that you can shape them according do your family style.
A birthday letter to each child summing up the year and ways that you’re proud of them.
Show and Tell one day of the week.
Pancakes on Saturdays (Dad never stints on the Nutella!)
Having the children take it in turns to stay up a little late on one night of the week.
Their own home made lullaby
A jar of thank yous
A jar of hopes
A secret family handshake
Making traditions creates a sense of belonging. It's this belonging that will contribute to their security and self esteem.
(Maslow’s hierarchy of needs*)