Happy New Year!
No matter what your new year hopes, dreams or aspirations are (even if you haven't articulated them you've probably got some hopes), there's one thing that is lurking, ready to undermine anything we might be trying to achieve and it comes from us...our negative self-talk. Come on - we've all got it. We know what it sounds like, we know how convincing it can be. One great way to come into the new year is to decide to slay the dragon of negative self-belief and replace it with truth.
Our thoughts will have an influence on our outcomes
Have you ever heard yourself wonder if someone else is a better parent than you? "They're brighter, smarter, tidier, more fun, more creative...They manage a business, a family, play sport, have six thousand followers... Have you ever thought "I'm left behind!" ? This is all negative self-talk.
Comparison isn't helpful. It distracts you from who you were created to be.
You are the perfect choice for your child (your life, your family). Their needs are intrinsically linked to you: your face, your voice, your presence. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. You will make wrong choices, fail, mess up, forget things, prioritise wrongly, bumble, say daft things, buy daft things....but don't believe daft things. Don't believe that anyone has it all sussed. That anyone is perfect. We're all a work in progress with different gifts, skills and ways. Stay in your lane. Don't get distracted and swerve into other lanes. or try to live up to other people's benchmarks. Be unapologetically, uniquely YOU.
Negative Self talk: I'm not enough
Truth: "I am enough."
When we see other people nailing-it, succeeding, gaining popularity or having-it-all - whatever 'all' may be, we can be tempted to see ourselves relatively. We can wonder what's wrong with us, why we're not 'nailing-it', attracting a crowd or multi-functioning perfectly. Admire her! Encourage her, add value to her, don't see yourself in terms of her.
Negative self talk: "She's more (xyz) than me."
Truth: "I am unique."
When someone puts you down or robs you of your joy with their comment or look, set them free from your assessments. You haven't walked in their shoes; they may be doing their very best with all they have. Don't let (your perception of) their appraisal of you throw you off balance. One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things!
Negative self-talk: "She thinks I am (xyz)"
Truth: "I don't need other people's approval."
Let this be your year of freedom. The year you decide to shed some old habits and replace them with truth-talk. Your run is not against another person, it's just your run - it's on a track. How do you know what lap they're on? Your run can't fail because others look as though they are ahead. But it can fail because you talk it down.
Run your unique race
Change the record
There's nobody like you, never has been, never will be...
One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things! Charlie Mackesy, Artist