Do you ever wish you had a superpower?
Which one would you choose if you could?
Would you climb walls like Spiderman? Or fly like Superman (and even reverse time). Would you move at high speed like dash? Or perhaps there could be some cheeky fun in being invisible like Mrs incredible!
They’re all quite handy, but I think if I could choose two it would be flying and being able to heal. That would be an awesome life.
However, in the absence of those particular miracles, there are some superpowers at our fingertips:.
I’m going to look at a few superpowers over the next few weeks which can change the self-esteem of your child.
The first is…
The power of affirmation
When they’re very small it’s easy to remember to compliment them – everything they do seems fantastic, but as they get a little older we can often forget to appreciate the little things. Perhaps it’s because we’ve as we expanded our expectations of them or that we overlook their intrinsic need to be affirmed as they look bigger and more confident.
I’m a big fan of Rob Parsons and one of the things we picked up from his books when ours were small was "Catch them doing something good." That can be a little harder as they grow, but it comes down to our powers of observation. We've coined the phrase "Notice it!"
Notice ten year olds who do their homework without being prompted.
Notice seven year olds who wait for you to finish talking instead of interrupting.
Teenagers who help to clear up after dinner (even if it’s expected)
Older teenagers who are spending more time out of the house need to know they’re still valuable:
"It was great to spend time together today."
""Well done for putting your clothes in the laundry." (instead of round the bathroom floor!)
"That was kind."
"Thank you for saying that."
"I missed you today." (Older children need this too).
"That colour suits you." (Even my boys like a bit of wardrobe acknowledgement).
You might not be able to say "Your room looks nice." But there will be something in there you can compliment.
Words words words of encouragement. They’re flowers planted on their side of the bridge.
You never know – they might plant some on your side!