Imagine children have two little jars in their hearts. One stores up treasures, the other stores up the little knocks and bruises that life dishes out, like a harsh word or a disappointment or something that upsets them
In order for them to cope with the knocks and blows of life, we need to make sure that the treasure jar is more full than the other one.
The treasure jar is full of all sorts of wonderful things: positive experiences, connections with people they love, kind words, moments where they feel good about themselves and so much more. Over the next few blogs I'm going to talk about little ways that we can fill their treasure jars.
Here's one great way. In the words of Rob Parsons, 'Catch them doing something good'
Children's days are full of important instructions, guidance and cautions, and those are all important. But sometimes when life gets busy we can forget to affirm them just for the sake of it. It's these little affirmations that fill their treasure jar.
Here are a few examples:
You did that so well
well done for bringing your plate to the sink
I love that hug
I enjoyed our time together today
When they get older and we expect more of them it's even easier to forget to build them up. They still need it:
thank you for putting your clothes in the laundry basket
I missed you today (if you or they have been out)
I like that idea
that was nice
that was kind
that was thoughtful
Our children are wired to be built-up by us. Their formative years are the ones where they develop their sense of identity. It's easy for us to speak into that and help it to be a positive one. But when days are busy it's tempting to revert to getting on with the to-do list of the day
Fill their treasure jar with words of affirmation
You never know, they might start filling yours!
Have a lovely week,